Distrust of the couple is a distressing situation for the sufferer and an unbearable pressure to the other but what can we do about it?
Jealousy and mistrust have always existed, we seek exclusivity one way or another. But now, it has increased the paranoia exists a strong fear that the partner does something wrong (not just talking about infidelity).
There may be a fear of abandonment, betrayal, even ridiculous to others, being multi-source mistrust between partners.
Symptoms of no confidence
Check your mail, your phone, your clothes, wanting to get involved in their social networks constantly call him, go to his office unannounced, spy, set traps to see if this lying, not stay quiet (a) when the other goes, no want to go out alone (a), dismissible social activities, blackmail, etc.. It may even have physical symptoms such as:. Nervousness, anxiety, insomnia, gastritis, stomach pain, rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, etc., are some of the most common symptoms of mistrust between partners.
Common causes of mistrust between partners
In a large percentage are internal, i.e. the same person who distrusts, and among them are the following:
- Mistrust and insecurity of self, believing that it is not enough for the other.
- The fear of infidelity, or lose his love interest.
- Jealousy friends, brothers, mother, father, in order anyone else to remove one or captures your attention.
- Which we have betrayed someone and unconsciously seek punishment, or we think we did it as we will.
- Irrational thoughts such as: all men are unfaithful, all women are crazy, was not a virgin when she married me, if your mom is going to talk bad about me, family policy hurts, you wheedle friends, etc..
- Having gone through a disappointment, ie someone has deceived us.
- By learning, whether in our home we lived this mistrust, follow patterns, so we saw it and we live with our parents and / or other people nearby, as family and friends.
- It can also be fear of abandonment, being very dependent and want to keep depending on someone else for their own welfare and not have to take responsibility, both financially and emotionally, or both.
- It may even be out of envy that the other or have more fun than me.
- Can be different causes and each person, each family, each story is different.
Do you tend to be an also an issue of self-esteem?
Distrust of the couple usually is, at least in part, due to lack of self-esteem. The unconsciously believe we do not deserve to love us as we are, if not love and respect us enough, if we do not like us if we do not accept and we demand and criticize too. We believe that we can not and / or should not have a healthy and happy relationship, even unconsciously we boycott and we harm the relationship, sabotage the good moments of intimacy with fights and absurd to create a rift claims, and when we are alone we torture ourselves with thoughts and ideas that are not always real.
As the body grow confidence both
Not having a good relationship with ourselves, it is deteriorating confidence in ourselves and in our relationships with others. Some guidelines to overcome the distrust partners are:
- Making a mutual agreement and respect above all, learn to accept our mistakes and also other, live as individuals, that everyone has their space and time to pursue what I wanted.
- Learning to let go of control over the other, what does, thinks and wants. Focusing first on me, learn to see me, and let some other.
- Reflect where distrusted, from my perception or the reality, wonder if this person has done something, if has led to distrust her, if I lied earlier, if you’ve seen some shady business, if I press too, if hides to do something, and above all, that I won this distrust?. Is it real?
Have realistic expectations of the relationship and the couple. If you think much distrust your partner or vice versa, it would be good to seek professional help, as many times with jealousy and mistrust between partners create suffocating and painful for both situations, and the situation ends badly.
This can lead to violence both in pairs and in yourself, and that thinking too much about what will we harm the other person, because they are just thoughts, they are not always real. And we get sick.
Trust is earned every day, if we encourage and respect the personal space of each learning to live in harmony.